Personal Insecurities
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.
Everyone I know is in some way insecure. Insecurity is, to some extent, what makes us human. Our monkey brains are developed to be risk averse. You don’t want to see yourself harmed, injured, or embarrassed. You want the group, and society, to like you.
This is very apparent in teens. Teenagers world view is narrow, but important to them. The group ostracizes individuals who take actions which the group deems as strange or not inline with the crowd wisdom. Living through these teenage years leaves an impression on us all. Even though you are no longer a teenager, you continue to cling to this way of thinking. You don’t want to make moves that could disrupt your standing in your social and business circles.
And your insecurities holds you back.
In the United States a large insecurity is with money. We view net worth to be a sign of success. Individuals with high net worths aren’t perceived as insecure by low net worth individuals. But, this isn’t true.
Large net worth individuals still have insecurities. They can even have insecurities around money. Am I donating enough to charity? Will my kid’s stress about money after I die? Do people like me personally or because of my wealth or status?
Insecurities come from two core causes:
Comparing Ourselves to Others
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
- Exodus 20:17
We compare what we have to what other’s have. Coveting another’s life and possessions is one of the ten commandments for a reason. It’s a natural human trait. As an adult you still want to be the popular kid in school, the athlete who scores the winning point, or the prom queen. You want to be the one being looked at not the one doing the looking. You want the approval of others.
In startup land, you are barraged with positive news from other startups. Startup news seems to be abnormal. The 1992 study, Bad News Revisited: The Portrayal of Violence, Conflict, and Suffering on Television News, revealed that more than half (54.5%) of televised news broadcasts focused on stories about violence, conflict, and suffering. Scientists haven’t studied startup news, but, most startup news sites (TechCrunch, VentureBeat, ext) seem to be positive. Fundraising announcements, product launches, positive user testimonies, and acquisitions.
This constant stream of positive news can make you insecure about your own endeavors because you are comparing yourself to others. Stop doing that. Negative things happen to us all. But, we don’t want to share the negative things, because just like you, we want everyone to view us in a positive light. So, we don’t publicize the negative.
Perception
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough
- Oprah Winfrey
Insecurity stems from the perception of others. Perception isn’t reality.
If you aren’t a high net worth individual, then you perceive high net worth individuals as being happy. You project your personal problems - with money - on them. You think, if I just had that amount of money I wouldn’t have the problems I’m having. You would be right.
You wouldn’t have money problems. You would have a different set of problems and different insecurities.
I don’t know if you can completely shut off the parts of your brain that are insecure. Personally, I notice when I concentrate on accomplishing tasks, and avoid news streams, I avoid having insecurities about what I’m doing.
What about you? How do you disregard or ignore your personal insecurities?